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We've been getting emails about the Red Paper Clip guy, Kyle, who began with a red paper clip and 14 trades and a year later, he was in possession of a house in Saskatchewan.
That's pretty cool. Awesome, if you ask me.
So, we thought we'd give it a try, only in the spirit of giving everything we can, we're going to begin with our wedding rings.
So, here goes.
Up for trade, one set of wedding rings...let go not because of a lack of love, but because of the sheer, powerful abundance of it.
As if that wasn't enough, both rings, purchased from Jared/Kay, come with a lifetime service warranty like none other:
That's pretty cool. Awesome, if you ask me.
So, we thought we'd give it a try, only in the spirit of giving everything we can, we're going to begin with our wedding rings.
So, here goes.
Up for trade, one set of wedding rings...let go not because of a lack of love, but because of the sheer, powerful abundance of it.
As if that wasn't enough, both rings, purchased from Jared/Kay, come with a lifetime service warranty like none other:
Jared's Lifetime Diamond & Gemstone Guarantee accompanies merchandise containing diamonds, rubies, sapphires or emeralds. Per this guarantee Jared will replace, free of charge any diamond, ruby, sapphire or emerald if it chips, breaks or is lost from its original mounting during normal wear, as long as six month inspections have been completed by our representatives. The Diamond & Gemstone Guarantee must indicate a record of service inspections every 6 months in order to remain in effect.
In addition, you may purchase Jared Lifetime Extended Service Plan. The Extended Service Plan furnishes labor and parts necessary to maintain your merchandise in usable and wearable condition provided such service is necessitated by merchandise worn during normal conditions. This service plan includes but is not limited to the following services: ring sizing, refinishing and polishing, earring repair, chain soldering, resetting of diamonds and/or gemstones. Please visit your local Jared for further details and pricing information
In addition, you may purchase Jared Lifetime Extended Service Plan. The Extended Service Plan furnishes labor and parts necessary to maintain your merchandise in usable and wearable condition provided such service is necessitated by merchandise worn during normal conditions. This service plan includes but is not limited to the following services: ring sizing, refinishing and polishing, earring repair, chain soldering, resetting of diamonds and/or gemstones. Please visit your local Jared for further details and pricing information
I only have a point and click camera, so I apologize for the quality of the photos.
I'm working on getting better pictures taken!
My rings are currently a size 7, though they are resizable and this service is covered by the service warranty, though I think there was a $20 fee last time they were sized.
Jeff's ring size is unknown right now, but I will post it as soon as I can. His ring has a continuous, engraved design, so any resizing will disrupt the design on the back of the ring.
Other than that they are blessed with love and have a very happy history.
What do you have?
I'm working on getting better pictures taken!
My rings are currently a size 7, though they are resizable and this service is covered by the service warranty, though I think there was a $20 fee last time they were sized.
Jeff's ring size is unknown right now, but I will post it as soon as I can. His ring has a continuous, engraved design, so any resizing will disrupt the design on the back of the ring.
Other than that they are blessed with love and have a very happy history.
What do you have?
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15 comments:
I would think that a man who went from a paper clip to a home was very possession oriented, which seems to be the opposite of what you're striving for. No one demands consistency of you, but to seem legitimate, it's a necessary thing.
And in response to a quote in the New York Times where you said you were getting negative emails, that's probably because you're telling people the way they live their lives is one that is defined by being slaves to their possessions. Whether this is true or not, people don't often like being told that a driving force in their life is irrelevant.
I love what you're doing -- and have even though of doing it myself!, but please keep the rings -- even if they aren't "right" right now. A little box in your new place in Vermont will be happy to house these items of true meaning. Keep them.
I'm with Nathaniel, the rings are worth more emotionally than you can earn in trade or cash. You have children who may not want to follow your path, or you may need the monetary value for serious barter later on.
Keep the rings, they have good memories and are not bad things.
In regards to the paper clip being about possessions...I suppose you could look at it that way. You could also look at it as a man who was unable to buy a house and wanted not to rent any longer (I can relate)...who figured out a totally creative, legitimate way to have a home. He is also, not us.
Re: the rings:
Because I hope that by the time my children are grown they will have experienced that true value lies only in things of the soul and it is my sincere hope that they will find love that needs no papers and no symbols. If they feel or choose differently I would support them and love them and understand completely, but it feels strange to me to hold onto something which could be turned into a new beginning for our family, in anticipation of one of the kids wanting something which holds little or no intrinsic value to their parents. I hope that there will be many things which will better remind the kids of our love and selves...the things which Jeff makes for me...the letters I write to Jeff...the photos chronicling our lives together...
I fully understand the symbolism of a wedding ring and appreciate any persons value of them. It's a very personal choice, as is everything we're doing. I would no more want to push my feelings about wedding rings onto another person than my food choices or other such individual values.
I hope that makes sense.
I think what I'm trying to say is to each his own
Hi Liz,
I fully understand what you mean about the ring. My sister didn't even want a traditional diamond ring when she got married. Her friends' spouses wanted to get their brides torquoise ring or something other than a diamond ring but that symbolized their love for one another. But then their mother-in-laws got involved in insisted on their spouses buying a diamong ring. It is so refreshing that we are able to question and challenge tradition sometimes.
lots of love,
Mindi
BTW, I'm still single but have begun thinking of the things that I would ask instead of a wedding ring. Here is what I have thought so far:
1. 100 google stock certificate.
2. A check paid to my student loan.
3. New fixtures for our future house.
4. Dream bath-tub built in our future house.
5. Tour of the world (or at least two continents) with a group of friends.
dear liz,
on valentine's day my partner woke up with hundreds of tiny red paper hearts i had cut out of construction paper all over the bed. our (rented) house is 30 meters square and is more than enough room for three of us (6 year old boy too) and our stuff (though it does mean cleaning up ALL THE TIME!!!) and all even the love. we both come from relatively wealthy backgrounds, mine american, his belgian. our families and friends don't really get it how we live, and we don't feel the need to pontificate to them. we just enjoy the moments when they recognize something authentic and beautiful happening, and we see their lives touched by it, even changed. just as we have been inspired by those who live simply, lightly, lovingly. for me it came from years of travel, living out of a backpack teaches you quickly what you do not need because you literally carry it. and settling down a wee bit (as you must with children), the stuff accumulates, and we are fierce gatekeepers monitoring what comes in, trying our best to keep it light, spacious, beautiful, like our love. what i see from your blog more than anything is your love for each other inspiring and strengthening your lifestyle choices, and it is here that i recognize us. our couple is newer, having met only 2 years ago (he had adopted his son already) and so inspired by the purity and luminosity of our connection that it naturally gave us the courage to face deep fears, inner psychological and emotional stuff, and the inevitable outer weaving upstream against the strong currents of social norms. yesterday morning, my partner woke me with tears in his eyes, picked up one of the red paper hearts that still litter our tiny home, placed it in my hand and asked me if he could have the honor to call me his wife. while this is a social current we have also swum against, it means i am living illegally in france without working papers or status. so it has become practically much easier to go with that flow. your comment about giving away your rings showing a sheer abundance of love - this has, until yesterday, been our rationale. the love we inspire in each other, that rushes through our beings is not even ours, is not something words can approach, neither a piece of paper or a stodgy institution. however, the sacred aspect of marriage is something we carry. we bow to each other, and to those couples we see illumined by similar inspiration. i clicked through to your blog today from nytimes and was moved to tears. the paper heart my partner handed me, that he found on the floor was a spontaneous offering, some deep instinct perhaps to ritualize a moment like that, to bring gifts, to give thanks. it didn't even occur to me, the ring thing, until i read your blog today! i don't know what size fingers we have, but wouldn't it be so romantic and cindarella if your rings fit us? i don't know what i could offer you as we don't have much and you don't need much. i will be leaving to work in burma next week to aid the cyclone victims - maybe i can give something to them on your behalf? i still have some things in storage in wyoming from another lifetime (how can i possibly claim to need these things if i haven't seen them in 10 years?) and maybe there is something there of use to you (mostly books). please tell me the kinds of things you need for your journey and jeff's ring size and maybe we can create an exchange. the way you've chosen to express your spiritual insights is beautiful, radical and strikes an important note that will likely touch many people. we have many beautiful projects in mind as well, but we are both still caught up in former work, he in cambodia and i in burma. as we unravel from that and settle in in the west, we hope to establish a center for contemplation of nature and meditation - but this is a bit far away. and as you say, to put it down for the scrutiny of others when it is still in embryonic form feels unnatural. while we are not there yet, we thrive on inspiration from others like you. thank you for your courage. courage is a natural byproduct of love, and it is clear you have plenty of both. with admiration and gratitude, olivia
That lady who left the comment about trading your wedding rings for books - don't do that-that's a rip off. That's crazy.
I hope that it(this journey) works out for you, but if it doesn't,you can always buy more crap!
From a distance your husband looks Hispanic but then when you click on the photo's for a bigger representation, he looks Irish. He's an optical illusion!
I assume you are posing in front of your house. It looks great for $1,650(?) a month. You can't get anything that good in the NYC vicinity for that price. And Austin is supposedly a cool(as in groovy) place to live, but extremely hot during the Summer.
You probably didn't have that much crap to begin with. It's someone like Seinfeld who should really divest himself of crap(all those Porsches), and live an ascetic lifestyle.
Ok. here it goes. It's my first post since learning of this. I'm thinking I'm understanding this right, so I'm going to go for it. I think I hear you when you say that part of the dilemma is finding the few appropriate items to take with you, and shedding the many things you dont need. I know you're planning on relying on your natural abilities to supply yourself. I just so happen to have a perfect fishing pole. It's got a sturdy case and is about the length of your forearm plus your hand, and perhaps a similar width. Excellent for packing away in a tiny place. It might be used for many of your future meals and may be very fruitful of a fresh natural protein. The rings would only be valuable for sentimental value or for the monetary value, and since you care none for the monetary value and you need to be able to feed yourselves...you should let me take the rings. I can throw in a filled tacklebox with bait. Let me know, you know how to get in touch with me. peace and love to you.
I think y'all are great and everything, but I also think you should hold on to the rings. They're not paper clips. They're more like people clips.
Good for you guys! I wish you all the best and my thoughts and prayers will be with you. I will be following your story to see how everything's going. What an inspiration to many you could turn out to be. I know you are already inspiring me. I have felt "stuck" and thought about doing something crazy like this, but don't have the courage to do it alone. God bless you!
Renee~
I love what you are doing. It's a beautiful idea.
Over the past three months my fiance' and I have been divesting ourselves of "the unecessaries". It will, likely, be an ongoing process.
We have managed to sell/give/donate furniture, clothing and household appliances away to friends, neighbors and charity. It has been a cathartic experience.
We are minimizing "things" for so many reasons. Space, energy, time, to name a few.
We are conserving more, and are more joyful for it.
As we blend our home, we are finding out how important it is to us to make positive contributions to our community and our environment.
Even in the planning of our wedding, we have tried to emphasize family over the "stuff" of a wedding. ( We planted native flowers on family land to grow for the bouquets, for example. Nicely the parent plants will be around for years--providing food for our pollinators, and beauty for the family that live there.)
On the whole, we are not materially oriented. We have a few things that we are attached to---our bicycles, my drum, my sewing machine, our small home. These things will be with us forever, I think. We use them regularly, they contribute to our entertainment, education, thrift, and health. On the whole, these are our favorite things.
One area that I have been strugglng with for us has been "the wedding ring". G. bought my ring long before he popped down on one knee. He bought it from a traditional source, and it is lovely. I do love it. I only wish we had been able to get it from a reclaimed/sustainable source.
We scouted E-bay, pawn shops, second-hand stores looking for our bands. We had decided that a ring was an important thing to us---mainly for a concurrence of other symbols that permeated our courtship. We wanted to celebrate/commemorate that in a ring.
We have found a band to go with the ring he gave me. However, we are still questing for a band for my groom.
I am not certain what "things/services" you need to help you make your way in this new adventure. This is so much a "to each their own" kind of thing...
What I can offer you...
(1) Burgundy wool/pattern suitable to make a lovely full length winter coat
(2) Sewing repair service for any clothes that you currently have and wish to maintenance
(3) A guided personal tour, as my guest, of the native gardens/endangered species that I work with. (I'm an environmental educator. This would be an "educational family outting.")
(4) An invite to the wedding! (Oct 18 in Alabama!)
These are modest offerings, I know. If they fit into your life and would bless it, then I hope that you will pick my groom and I as recipients of the man's wedding band. If not, I understand...and bless you on your journey.
When I was 8 my parents gave away all our belongings -- our house (yes, you can find organizations to take that too), one of our cars (we kept one), most of our clothes and other accumulations from life.
They set all our toys and other stuff in carboard boxes by the curb and Chicago trash guys hauled it all away. A few months later we were living in a commune outside of Pullman Michigan, which supported itself with an organic blueberry patch and a granola factory. My dad is an architect, but re-tooled himself to become the commune's mechanic -- fixing broken farm equipment etc. My mom is a graphic designer turned lawyer, but she spent those years canning vegetables, sewing and working in the blueberry patch.
We were home schooled, but unfortunately my parents took a "non-school" approach and for the next 7years school pretty much consisted of observing your environment and reading whatever you happened to be interested in. The only books we kept were an ancient Encyclopedia Brittanica set, which I must say makes a good read if nothing else is around. But, I severely missed out on the fundamentals in those years.
We stayed at the commune until I was 15, at which point my parents moved to the wilds of the Tennessee mountains and revamped a 150-year old farm house into a passive solar, well-watered, wood burning stove recreation of the commune we had moved from. (They lived there for 20 years, until moving to Seattle 3 years ago.)
I love a lot of things about the way I grew up, and have replicated some of it with my own family (I'm 38 now). The two regrets -- and they are deep and difficult regrets -- is that my parents have zero financial security, and now they are getting older. It's all fine and dandy when you're 30, but my dad will be 70 this year and basically has no retirement saved up. Fortunately they are super fit and have been vegan since thier 30s, but if anything happens as they get older, the burden will rest solely on me to support them, and that's a lot to ask of your kids who have their own life going.
I'm really going on and on here. The other regret is the lack of formal education. I'm sure you are more on the ball with home schooling your kids -- and there are a lot more resources these days. I had to play major catch up, although I did finish college and graduate school. But there were many years of groping in the dark, trying to backtrack and learn things I needed to move forward with life.
I wish you the best. I must say I was a little sad about the wedding rings (they don't take up that much space in the box, do they?...). My mom ditched her engagement ring which had been passed down 4 generations and I would love, love to have some little momento of family history. Symbols (rings) are important too.
Cheers.
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Aw. About nine months ago, I did something crazy and spent the last of my money on a much needed holiday after the company I worked for went out of business after much drama. While overseas, I met up with an online friend, fell in love and now we're getting married. I'm in the process of getting rid of all of my things, too, because I'm leaving Chicago to go live in a tiny house near a castle in England. With not-so-much to our names and a new life on the horizon, one tiny thing that symbolizes our love would mean a lot to me, but we can't afford rings once we pay for the visa. To see you giving yours away makes me want to cry at your goodness and earnest intent at your new lifestyle.
That being said, I could simply never accept them. I think you should keep them for one year and see what you think then. A wedding ring is an expensive trinket, sure, but it's very tiny and was chosen to represent something very important - a point in your life when you *choose* someone to be in your family, instead of working with what the universe gave you. That's momentous and worthy of a little token, whatever that token may be. Yours happens to be rings.
Anyway, just my little thought on it. I am new to your blog and reading the backlog as I have time. I hope you guys are doing well still!
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