July 9, 2009
What Dreams May Come...
I love the comments. Even, and maybe especially, the ones that result in hordes of emails telling me not to listen to said commenter. I love them because they remind me, show me, never to take things personally. The Second Agreement for those trying to follow the Four Agreements.
What would I take personally? The one in a hundred comments that isn't validating? All those that are?
It shows me that it isn't really about me... what you get out of it anyway. A hundred emails praising my parenting, envying my children... two who feel sorry for them?
I love the comments because in the agreement to take nothing personally, I am reminded also that the point is to do my best, and this I am always trying.
For those of you who feel a sense of loss, confusion and even betrayal by our move from Rovers to homesteaders, I can say that I understand. I get it. I felt the same way when Enchanted Gypsy and Live Lightly Tour left the road to make homes.
We are struggling with the transition too.
The thing is though. This was the plan from the beginning. We didn't (or haven't yet, who knows) wind up in Vermont, but we did wind up in a small, rustic home on a lot of acres. We are not fully off grid yet because we pay about $50/mo for electricity, but we're close.
The point, from the very beginning, was to follow our hearts... our hearts which were pulling us down our life's paths.
I don't believe that I have ever said that living on the road is the way for all people. I don't believe I've ever actually said that it was the way for us. It was simply that part of our lives, and mostly, it was wonderful. Mostly, I recommend it highly. But truly, it is the determination and courage to question your own beliefs, question what you think is true, question the need to be right, content, or even "safe" at a loss of exponential growth... of continued education and totally new perspective.
My biggest lesson from our travels has been continued faith in the face of my biggest fears. Continued courage and willingness to fight for a dream, in the face of friends, and even family, telling you that it is wrong.
My biggest lesson was, truly, a confirmation of something that I seem to have come into the world knowing... Always, I am capable of so much more than this. Always, I seek a truth much more fundamental than what has been handed to me, and always, I do this by by never sitting down in the middle of my path, by never turning away from even the biggest obstacle that stands between me and what I believe is on the other side. That always, no matter what, listen to my heart. Always, because never has it led me wrong.
I am so very excited for this chapter in our lives. It feels like such a gift of space and peace when we all wanted it so very much. It feels like a challenge too... one that we are up to: keep strong in our values and continue to question them as we walk through this part of our path.
I'm excited because I know that I am nowhere near done. This is so far from the last chapter, so far from the pinnacle...
I'm grateful because I have a bit of space and peace to sit and ponder what my heart is whispering of the future... to draw strength for the new (and asked for) things to come.
To draw strength for the birth of this baby, but also for the birth of a new me. To shed the skin which I have outgrown, to leave behind those things which I no longer need, and to embrace all of those which I walk toward.
I have lost friends and even family, but I have never been left in the dark. I have never been left alone. I have never taken a step and found nothing beneath me. I still haven't learned to fly, but I am, now, quite certain that I am going to and that every single lesson, challenge, and friend is exactly the piece of the puzzle that I am ready for at that time.
I don't know the punchline, the final message, the moral, or even the fullness of the next chapter yet. I only know that this is a story that I get to help write and I won't be dissapointed, nor will I be ready for it to end anytime soon.
All my love to those who have been with me all along, to those who couldn't follow and those who are just coming round. I'm glad you're here and some exciting things are in the works... a new website, a new business, a new chapter, a new member of our little tribe. Soon, but not in a hurry... as I have tended to be... I know now that this is my time to marinate... to gestate ;-) ... and I don't intend to miss out on this either.
Posted by Aimée LeVally at Thursday, July 09, 2009