Cage Free Family

It's not now or never
It's not black & it's not white
Anything worth anything
takes more than a few days
& a long, long night
~Deb Talan

Despite the sun outside, my days have been overcast days lately.
Fear, uncertainty and doubt.
Self doubt.
It's such an ugly little toad that moves back and forth... squatting on my heart... squatting on my head; croaking lies.

In spiritual writing there is little talk of these times, little admittance that some things deserve to be looked in the face and worked through rather than washed aside with affirmations, positive thoughts and strong beliefs. Sometimes the strongest beliefs in the world can still do nothing but co-exist with long established squatters, so long as they believe themselves to be above getting dirty.

And transitions can be very dirty. So much is changing for us, all at once... A new home, a
new baby, a new way of life...

There is, it seems, a common misconception that living a nomadic life is chaotic and unstructured. so often, I hear how happy we must be for our new-found structure.
It seems to be a secret of those on the road that life on the move is ever so much more structured, routined and consistent. It's like jumping straight into the river of life... the mere flow keeps everything in order, not just out of necessity, but because the action of moving causes everything to line up more naturally. It's like that old adage that if Mama keeps moving all her ducks line up on their own.

Sleep falls naturally in rhythm with the cycle of the sun. Meals are simple and fall in line with the movement of sleep and activity. Family time isn't family time, it's just time.
Everything and everyone moves together whether or not they are directly interacting.
Life is more simple and also more abundant...all on it's own.

This is very, very different. To create the same things, the same simplicity, the same structure, routine, it takes real effort, constant mindfulness, a daily reapplication of values.
The transition is intense and cannot seem to help, but come with those old buggers: fear, uncertainty and doubt. Not because we are not sitting pretty to make our real dreams a reality,
but rather, because these dreams require us to change, but unlike the pulling, pushing, unavoidable flow these changes must be brought forth by intentional action. We have a choice.

A million really.

So, the days move on and we try to learn about wintering chickens, coyote fencing, the Land-Trust laws to which everything we do and build are subject, tomato thieving chipmunks, and so very much more.
We try to make these dreams come true, all while really working to remember the priority levels we have set to our core values. Growing our food: Important. Family, Feelings, Spiritual Growth: More Important. It's a whole new juggling act and we're still the phase of dropping balls and trying not to become disheartened. Of seeing what present compromises will bring us in the future.

So many moments are beautiful and perfect. We have everything we hoped for and more. Transitions are hard though... the whole perspective changes and we struggle to refocus and re-balance rather than resist. And, for all their difficulty, as a rule they tend to be ever so short in duration. This too shall pass. Change is the only constant and how lucky are we?