Warm Impermanence

I watch the ripples change their size
But never leave the stream
Of warm impermanence and
So the days float through my eyes
But still the days seem the same
~David Bowie

I can hardly believe that it is October already. The change here in Taos Canyon has been dramatic and very beautiful; much more than I expected from the mostly coniferous landscape. Suddenly the groves of Aspens are burning in orange and gold, surrounded by bushes of amazing scarlets and purples, and the forest floors, visible for the first time, are covered in pine needles and colorful leaves. The whole canyon has a wonderfully new visual depth.

Today was even more incredible as a sky turned steely gray, an amazing contrast to the ruddy fall colors, and transformed first with a rainstorm, then sleet and hail, and finally snow... all while the sun shined a warm yellow and made a rainbow in the distance.

There are few days that pass that I don't feel extremely thankful for the ability to live is such a beautiful place.

Other things are changing quickly as well. We've made our final trip to Santa Fe for supplies to get us through the winter. Little is available here locally as we live near nothing but tourist towns. Which is lovely in it's own right... with the tourists always smiling and chatty; roaming around town bright-eyed and appreciative. They give us constant reminders to look around... to not let the mountains and the charm become invisible.

With only a matter of weeks left before our baby is due to arrive, we've finally purchased the perfect vehicle for our family, and are now free from the burden of dragging the RV out for every errand we must run. Jeff has many cords of wood split and stacked for our winter heat, and many more to be done still. He has also come close to completing our new passive solar greenhouse to house our tomatoes and herbs, and early next week we will be planting next years garlic.

We are now in the scrambling mode to acquire the things we will need for a newborn. The birth-tub is on it's way, the birth supplies and cloth diapers are here, and we're left with specifics such as clothing, diaper-covers, blankets and a car seat.

We are also trying to locate a reasonably priced chest freezer so that we can store local fruits, veggies, and grass-finished meats after our farmers' market closes on Halloween. So much to do and so little time to do it!

Despite all of the things to be done it seems much more like a waiting game as we count down the final weeks of pregnancy, especially with the consideration that both Quinn and Nichola were born several weeks past their estimated due dates ;-) As I try to find patience, strangers give me regular reminder of the countdown with comments about the "incredible" size of my belly, suggestions that I "can't be far" and certainties that I "won't make it that long" as they gaze at my belly. I try to assure them that it is simply my truly petite stature (barely 5 ft tall) that gives this appearance, but they tend to hold to their predictions :-p and part with condolences on my obviously uncomfortable size! Today I received a surprise hug from a lady in the grocery market on account of it. People are funny, but well meaning, and I take it in stride with a chuckle when I can. After all, I am very happily moving around again after my fall a couple of weeks ago.

Such a precious time this is, the last moments of Nichola being The Baby of the family, of uninterrupted sleep, and relatively free hands. We're savoring life as we know it while it lasts, so that we can happily embrace the excitement of a new addition.

Pregnancy is such an introspective, introverted time for me and I've been enjoying trips to our library to pull myself out the growing moments of meditation. Right now I am reading another Natalie Goldberg book and am excited about a new Buddhist book titled Cutting Through Spiritual Materiality. I have nearly fully devoured an incredible book called Childbirth Without Violence since returning home this evening. Even in this day of emerging peaceful birth practices it is an incredible read, and I can't even imagine what a shock it must have been during the early fifties when it was written. Told from the baby's perspective it makes an incredible point on the importance of avoiding birth trauma (and what constitutes trauma) and reminds me of Magical Child by Joseph Chilton Pearce. It falls short only in understanding the importance of peaceful birth to the mother.

As usual, we are really enjoying life.

xoxo